Things dwindling in the bedroom? Maybe it’s already as dry as the Savannah desert.
If so, don’t despair. All couples will hit this sort of patch, whether from monotony/habit of living, stress, other priorities, or just drifting apart.
What’s frustrating is when you’re in a rut but your partner isn’t. Or worse, you’re both there.
The bad news, it sometimes feels like a huge effort to bring back the spark. The good news, it’s only really in the beginning. It’s like those damn one-match fires that take FOREVER to get going, but when they do … watch out! You’re gonna burn down an entire forest.
Here are 100 ways to add some heat…
- Put candles around the room
- Caress more often
- Hold hands more often
- Take care of your body (It helps the libido)
- Find ways to relax and combat your stress levels
- Have some PDAs (public displays of affection)
- Give compliments – it’s even better if it’s the little things you notice
- Try to have more sex (more sex increases the libido)
- If you don’t usually give lots of hugs and kisses, start giving them!
- Try even if you aren’t “into it” (don’t forget lube)
SPLURGE SOME $$$
- Book a mystery vacation for your partner
- Visit a sex store together
- Buy each other a secret sex toy
- Buy new panties or underwear
- Buy a sex position book
- Spend a night in a hotel
- Relive your honeymoon
- Surprise each other with little gifts
- Explore your fetishes
- Try a cock ring
- Try some role play Try a striptease
- Don’t know how to strip? Take lessons.
- Go to a strip club together
- Wear each other’s underwear
- Both wear an anal plug while having sex
- Get into some light bondage – tie each other up
- Go to a BDSM or Fetish club – there is something for everyone
- Go to a bar and act like you are strangers
- Do it in a place with more people but privacy. Like a bathroom
- Break out the video camera and record your sex session (and watch it later)
- Have sex somewhere you could get caught
- Try a sex pillow
- Try some sex furniture
- Break out some leather or latex clothing
BE TECH SAVVY
- Toss in some sexting
- Play erotic online games together
- Send naked snapshots
- Use an app or remote controlled sex toys
USE YOUR MOUTH
- Eat some aphrodisiacs
- Talk dirty during sex
- Talk dirty on the phone
- Focus on some oral sex
- Eat strawberry and chocolate fondue
- Make your partner remove clothing with their teeth
BE ROMANTIC OR SIMPLY NICE
- Write a love poem
- Watch a sunrise
- Write them a song
- Act out your first date
- Take an evening stroll
- Leave notes in unexpected places
- Make out in between commercials
- Sit by a fire with your favorite drinks
- Have a nice, long talk about the good things
- Use flower petals to make a trail somewhere in the house – have a surprise waiting there
- Play with extended teasing
- Use sex toys during sex
- Try some sleazy lingerie
- Watch adult videos together
- Wear something sexy or enticing as a surprise
- Try ice cubes – hot and cold sensations are awesome
- Break out the blindfold – it will increase the other senses
- Try to make your partner moan, while they try not to
- Try an erotic massage, throw in some edible oils.
BREAK OUT OF ROUTINE
- Do it in a different room
- Do it on a different piece of furniture
- Try positions you rarely/never use
- Have a dinner in something nice
- Reserve a date night
- Change up the power dynamic
- Have a shower together
- Put on some music during sex
- Have sex during a different time of day
- Play hookie from work and spend the day together
- Forget the housework – leave it there and focus on each other
- Take a drive and do it in a new place (in or out of the car is your choice)
- Spend a day or two apart. When you see each other you’ll realize how much you’ve missed them.
DO FUN THINGS
- Go dancing
- Have a naked day
- Play sexy truth or dare
- Play sexy drinking games
- Leave messages on mirrors
- Play strip poker – or whatever strip game you both like
- Make sexy coupons they can redeem whenever they want
- Learn something new together – bonding experiences are great!
- Make your partner guess what you are wearing under your clothes
- Play “You cannot say” game – (eg. You cannot say “Me” for 30 minutes) – loser has to give the winner … something *wink*
- Try some spanking
- Use a blindfold
- Admit a dirty, sexy secret
- Use only your hands
- Keep your high heels on
- Have a bath together
- Read an erotic book together
- Lick things off your partner’s body
- Put on red (some men react well to crimson)
- Play with some “sex dice” or adult playing cards
- Tie them up to the bed … or other things … and use them how you want
- Masturbate to get into the mood – in front of your partner
- Agree to be their “slave” for a set period of time. Don’t forget your communication beforehand and safety words.
Which were your favorites? Have any other ideas?
Share in the comments!
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ALL of these suggestions might not work (or be possible for everyone). But, hopefully, there’s enough there to get you on your way.