Things dwindling in the bedroom? Maybe it’s already as dry as the Savannah desert.

If so, don’t despair. All couples will hit this sort of patch, whether from monotony/habit of living, stress, other priorities, or just drifting apart. 

What’s frustrating is when you’re in a rut but your partner isn’t. Or worse, you’re both there.

The bad news, it sometimes feels like a huge effort to bring back the spark. The good news, it’s only really in the beginning. It’s like those damn one-match fires that take FOREVER to get going, but when they do … watch out! You’re gonna burn down an entire forest.

Here are 100 ways to add some heat…


  • Put candles around the room
  • Caress more often
  • Hold hands more often
  • Take care of your body (It helps the libido)
  • Find ways to relax and combat your stress levels
  • Have some PDAs (public displays of affection)
  • Give compliments – it’s even better if it’s the little things you notice
  • Try to have more sex  (more sex increases the libido)
  • If you don’t usually give lots of hugs and kisses, start giving them!
  • Try even if you aren’t “into it” (don’t forget lube)


  • Book a mystery vacation for your partner
  • Visit a sex store together
  • Buy each other a secret sex toy
  • Buy new panties or underwear
  • Buy a sex position book 
  • Spend a night in a hotel
  • Relive your honeymoon
  • Surprise each other with little gifts


  • Explore your fetishes
  • Try a cock ring
  • Try some role play Try a striptease
  • Don’t know how to strip? Take lessons.
  • Go to a strip club together
  • Wear each other’s underwear
  • Both wear an anal plug while having sex
  • Get into some light bondage – tie each other up
  •  Go to a BDSM or Fetish club – there is something for everyone
  • Go to a bar and act like you are strangers
  • Do it in a place with more people but privacy. Like a bathroom
  • Break out the video camera and record your sex session (and watch it later)
  • Have sex somewhere you could get caught
  • Try a sex pillow
  • Try some sex furniture
  • Break out some leather or latex clothing


  • Toss in some sexting
  • Play erotic online games together
  • Send naked snapshots 
  • Use an app or remote controlled sex toys 


  • Eat some aphrodisiacs
  • Talk dirty during sex
  • Talk dirty on the phone
  • Focus on some oral sex
  • Eat strawberry and chocolate fondue
  • Make your partner remove clothing with their teeth


  • Write a love poem
  • Watch a sunrise
  • Write them a song
  • Act out your first date
  • Take an evening stroll
  • Leave notes in unexpected places 
  • Make out in between commercials
  • Sit by a fire with your favorite drinks
  • Have a nice, long talk about the good things
  • Use flower petals to make a trail somewhere in the house – have a surprise waiting there


  • Play with extended teasing
  • Use sex toys during sex
  • Try some sleazy lingerie
  • Watch adult videos together
  • Wear something sexy or enticing as a surprise
  • Try ice cubes – hot and cold sensations are awesome
  • Break out the blindfold – it will increase the other senses
  • Try to make your partner moan, while they try not to
  • Try an erotic massage, throw in some edible oils. 


  • Do it in a different room
  • Do it on a different piece of furniture
  • Try positions you rarely/never use
  • Have a dinner in something nice
  • Reserve a date night
  • Change up the power dynamic
  • Have a shower together
  • Put on some music during sex
  • Have sex during a different time of day
  • Play hookie from work and spend the day together
  • Forget the housework – leave it there and focus on each other
  • Take a drive and do it in a new place (in or out of the car is your choice)
  • Spend a day or two apart. When you see each other you’ll realize how much you’ve missed them.


  • Go dancing
  • Have a naked day
  • Play sexy truth or dare
  • Play sexy drinking games
  • Leave messages on mirrors
  • Play strip poker – or whatever strip game you both like
  • Make sexy coupons they can redeem whenever they want
  • Learn something new together – bonding experiences are great!
  • Make your partner guess what you are wearing under your clothes
  • Play “You cannot say” game – (eg. You cannot say “Me” for 30 minutes) – loser has to give the winner … something *wink*


  • Try some spanking
  • Use a blindfold
  • Admit a dirty, sexy secret
  • Use only your hands
  • Keep your high heels on
  • Have a bath together
  • Read an erotic book together
  • Lick things off your partner’s body
  • Put on red (some men react well to crimson)
  • Play with some “sex dice” or adult playing cards
  • Tie them up to the bed … or other things … and use them how you want
  • Masturbate to get into the mood – in front of your partner
  • Agree to be their “slave” for a set period of time. Don’t forget your communication beforehand and safety words.

Which were your favorites? Have any other ideas?

Share in the comments!

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ALL of these suggestions might not work (or be possible for everyone). But, hopefully, there’s enough there to get you on your way.